Moments

You know that family in your life that has had one storm after another blow through for years on end? We are that family. There are a lot of families like us out there, but this is our story.

Several years ago my husband’s grandmother Lenora died unexpectedly when a doctor made a simple mistake.

His dad, Jirden, died a little more than a year later after a very short battle with a very aggressive cancer.

His sister, Laura, found out she had cervical cancer just a few months later. The cancer was removed but returned 15 months later.

Then a couple of years after that my husband lost his mentor and cousin Bryan in a tragic accident.

And now, less than two years later, we find ourselves in the midst of a battle for Laura’s life.

There are good days, and then there are days filled with pain and sorrow and a fear of what lies ahead.

There are nights when the sleep is sweet, and there are nights when sleep barely comes and night runs into the next day, like a cloud hanging low overhead waiting to swallow us up.

There are moments when tears of joy flow over the goodness of God and the kindness of friends and family in the midst of the difficulties. And there are moments when tears of doubt flood us and we wonder how the goodness of God could lead us to such a painful path.

If God is the giver of all things good, we wonder, why does the bad come calling? The answer doesn’t always sound the way we’d like it to.

The c-word, wrapped up in a pretty teal and white ribbon, is a gift we’d rather give back. Not to anyone else, heaven forbid, but to the darkness that seems to come with it, and threatens to overwhelm us by its power.

As we look back over the past several years and mark the major losses, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by the struggle that life sometimes seems.

But there are other moments peppered through these years.

Good moments.

The baptism of family member after family member at Shady Grove Baptist Church.

The moment when we gathered around Lenora’s lifeless body one last time and my faith filled husband reminded us all with a laugh that if she didn’t make it heaven, none of us stood a chance.

The story Jirden woke up from a near death experience telling about his brief visit to heaven and his living hope that he’d return one day soon.

Countless words of wisdom shared by Bryan throughout his life, that Toby relies on every day at work and at home, as he strives to always do the right thing.

And then there are all the many fits of laughter shared with a sister who refuses to allow cancer to take from her the things that are rightly hers. Like her favorite poem says, cancer will not steal her faith, her love, her friendships, or her hope.

Cancer is limited by the spirit of the one it attacks.

And Laura’s spirit is stronger than cancer.

And like Moses in the battle against Amalek, she is flanked by those willing to lift her up when her strength falters.  

So, though we may have good days and bad days – beautiful moments and the most awful moments you can imagine – we’ll try to remember to keep our chins up, our eyes on God and our arms wrapped around each other.

And when you see our strength falter, I hope you’ll lend us a hand.